Understand what may be happening, watch the video stories and explore information at your own pace.
Understand what may be happening
Abusive or controlling behaviour within a domestic relationship. This can include current or former partners, spouses, people who live or lived together, dating or visiting relationships, people who share a child, family members and dependants. A legal adviser can explain whether another close relationship is recognised by the Court.
Women and girls are disproportionately affected by gender-based violence. SafeSteps also recognises that men and people of different gender identities, ages, sexualities, abilities, migration circumstances and economic situations can experience abuse and face different barriers to support. This website does not assume who you are or what action you should take.
When risk may be increasing
These signs do not predict what will happen. They can help you notice when speaking with a trained person or seeking urgent help may be especially important.
Pressure on the neck, trouble breathing or being choked should be taken seriously, even when there are no visible injuries. These situations require more immediate attention.
The use, display or threatened use of a gun, knife or other weapon can indicate increasing danger.
Being held down, prevented from leaving a room or home, or physically restrained limits your ability to get away or seek help.
Threats involving you, children, relatives, pets or the person causing harm are important to take seriously, whether made directly or indirectly.
Growing fear about their reactions or what may happen next can be an important signal that risk is changing, even if there has not been recent physical harm.
Statements that no one will believe you, help you or protect you can be used to isolate you and make support feel out of reach.
Incidents happening more often, becoming more aggressive or feeling harder to manage may signal that circumstances are changing.
Risk can increase when someone is preparing to leave or has recently left. Planning with a trained support provider can help account for the specific circumstances.
Explore at your pace
You can read without telling us anything. Explore one topic or several, with no score, diagnosis or expectation to take action.
One behaviour on its own may not tell you the whole story. Look at the pattern. Has this been happening repeatedly? Is it becoming more controlling? Are you changing your behaviour because you are afraid of their reaction?
Repeated checking, demands for passwords or pressure to account for your movements can restrict privacy and independence. A pattern of control can matter even when there is no physical injury.
You can learn more without confronting anyone. If your device may be monitored, consider using a device the other person cannot access or monitor, if one is available, before seeking support or changing account settings.
Explore digital safetyRepeated jealousy or accusations can make you feel like you constantly have to prove where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing. Over time, this can become a way of controlling your relationships and your choices.
Notice whether you are changing your behaviour to avoid accusations. You could write down what has been happening or talk to someone you trust.
Becoming upset when you spend time with others can gradually lead to isolation, especially when you start avoiding people to prevent conflict. You do not have to lose your connections in order to keep a relationship calm.
Think about who you feel safe staying connected with. Reaching out to someone you trust can be a small first step.
Financial abuse can include withholding essentials, taking income, preventing work or using spending rules to limit another person’s independence. Financial dependence can make choices harder.
A small next step may be asking about food, practical assistance or training. You do not need to decide whether to leave before exploring support.
Find practical supportFeeling constantly on edge, isolated, humiliated or responsible for keeping the peace can accompany harmful patterns. If someone is treating you in a harmful or controlling way, their behaviour is not your fault.
You can speak with a trusted person or a trained support provider at your own pace. These examples help you reflect; they are not a test or a diagnosis.
Find someone to talk toFeeling that you have to manage someone else’s anger, reactions or behaviour can leave you constantly walking on eggshells. Feeling responsible for keeping the relationship calm or stable can be a warning sign.
Ask yourself: “Am I changing what I say or do mainly to prevent their reaction?” You could also talk this through with someone you trust.
Sexual abuse can include force, pressure and interference with contraception or pregnancy decisions. Being married or in a relationship does not remove the need for freely given consent.
You can seek individual support without having to describe everything at once. A specialist support service can help you think through options that fit your circumstances and are less likely to increase danger.
Explore specialist supportInterfering with contraception or pressuring someone about pregnancy can affect their ability to make decisions about their own body and future. These behaviours can be part of sexual or controlling abuse, even when they are not recognised as violence.
Consider speaking privately with a healthcare provider or support service about what is happening and what options are available to you.
Grabbing, pushing, blocking an exit, restraint, choking or strangulation, threats to kill, threats involving children and the use or threatened use of weapons should be taken seriously. Increasing frequency or severity, and the period around leaving, may also indicate increasing danger. These are warning signs, not a score or diagnosis.
If you may be in immediate danger, use Help now if doing so would not increase danger. You can also ask a trained support provider about options even if you are unsure how to describe the incident.
Review increasing-risk signsBlocking someone from leaving, grabbing or holding them forcefully can be signs of physical control. These behaviours can become more frequent or intense over time, particularly when they occur alongside threats, intimidation or other controlling behaviour.
Think about where you could go if you feel unsafe and who you could contact for support. If you are in immediate danger, seek urgent help and move to a safer place if you can do so safely.
Different forms of abuse can reinforce one another. Some situations include tension, harm, apology and calm, but experiences differ and do not need to follow that sequence.
You can reflect on what has happened over time and seek support without deciding everything today. You do not need to prove a pattern to deserve support.
Understand your optionsChildren can be affected by abuse in the home even when they are not directly harmed. Possible changes may appear in feelings, behaviour, learning and relationships; these changes alone do not establish a diagnosis.
Child and family services can explain support options. Before sharing identifying details, you can ask about confidentiality and reporting responsibilities when there is an opportunity to do so without increasing danger.
Find child and youth supportAbuse can affect emotional wellbeing, physical health, relationships and everyday stability. Feeling overwhelmed or finding daily tasks harder does not mean you have failed.
You may want emotional support, health care or practical assistance, or more than one of these. A trained provider can help you explore what fits your needs.
Explore support optionsChoices can depend on safety, readiness and practical circumstances. Support can include information, counselling and planning while someone stays or considers their options.
Choose one manageable step, such as identifying a trusted person or exploring a support service. Keep numbers, notes or document copies only where the other person is unlikely to find or access them, and only if doing so would not increase danger.
Open My Safety PlanProtection orders, police reporting and legal support are different pathways. What applies in a particular situation, including any reporting duty, needs confirmation from a qualified adviser.
Ask legal support what each process involves, what information may be needed and what help is available. SafeSteps cannot determine eligibility, interpret a reporting obligation or predict an outcome.
Explore legal supportA first conversation may cover what you need, any immediate concerns and available options. You can start with a general question. Confidentiality has limits, and different services have different legal responsibilities.
You could ask: “What support do you offer?”, “What information do you need?” and “When would you have to share information?” Ask about fees, eligibility, referrals and appointments before travelling.
Choose a way to get supportAvailable support may include practical assistance, confidential temporary accommodation, skills development and economic support. Recovery and independence can take time and may involve several services.
Use the directory to explore practical help or skills and income support. A listing does not guarantee funding, a place, eligibility or current availability; contact the provider to ask.
Find practical assistanceWomen and men can experience abuse, and specialised support is available for migrants, refugees, people with disabilities and caregivers. Individual services may have specific eligibility criteria.
Ask what access arrangements, languages or referrals a provider can offer. SafeSteps does not infer that every service is open to every person.
Find specialised supportThis information is also for friends, family and community members. A respectful conversation can give someone space to think about options without requiring them to explain everything.
Ask what would feel helpful and what they believe is least likely to increase danger. Avoid promising absolute secrecy or deciding the next step for them. For questions about reporting responsibilities, ask a qualified service or legal adviser.
Understand the first conversationJoint interventions may be inappropriate where there is fear, control, ongoing abuse or risk of escalation. A general counselling or mediation listing is not a recommendation for joint sessions.
Seek individual guidance from a trained domestic-violence support provider before considering any joint process.
Find individual supportSupport is available to help you understand harmful patterns, take responsibility and work towards change. The person being hurt is not responsible for changing your behaviour.
A specialist provider can help you find individual support focused on changing your behaviour. Do not use this route to pressure someone into reconciliation or joint counselling.
Find support to make a changeNot sure what will happen if you ask for help?
Procedures vary by service and circumstance. These plain-language outlines tell you what may happen, what is separate, and what you can ask before sharing identifying details.
You remain allowed to ask questions. Reaching out for information does not automatically commit you to reporting, leaving, applying to court or entering shelter.
Under the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service One Door Policy, any police station should accept a domestic-violence report, regardless of where the incident occurred. An officer may ask about immediate concerns, take a statement and investigate where an offence may have occurred.
A police report and an application for a protection order are separate pathways. Ask what will happen next, what information is being recorded and who may receive it.
You can begin with a general question or say what kind of help you want. A hotline, counsellor or advocate may ask about immediate concerns and explain available options.
Confidentiality has limits. Before giving names or identifying details, you can ask what is kept private and when the service may have to share information.
A shelter may offer temporary confidential accommodation and basic support. Public maps should not reveal shelter locations. A hotline or provider can explain availability, eligibility, transport and what to bring.
A place cannot be guaranteed. Ask the provider what alternatives exist if accommodation is unavailable or does not meet your needs.
A legal adviser can explain options such as a protection order, reporting and representation, and what information or documents may be useful. Learning about an option does not require you to use it.
SafeSteps provides general information only. It cannot decide eligibility, interpret a reporting duty or predict a court outcome.
ChildLine can listen and support a child or young person. The Children’s Authority handles concerns about abuse, neglect or endangerment. A service may ask about immediate needs and the child’s circumstances.
Ask about reporting responsibilities before identifying the child, when possible. Do not promise complete secrecy to a child; explain that trained help may be needed to protect them.
You can still seek information, counselling, practical support and help thinking through a plan. You can pause, ask more questions or return to an option later.
No single pathway is required by this website. A qualified provider can explain any duties that may apply to a specific situation.
Official, accountable, transparent
SafeSteps is a national initiative of the Office of the Attorney General, in collaboration with the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) through the PACE Justice Project, funded by the European Union.
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